I'm gonna show 'em what a little girl's made of, gunpowder and lead

Ok, here it is. The obligatory birthday reflective post. In just over an hour I will be 25. A quarter of my life gone... but the good part is just beginning I'd wager. It's not like it's going to be hard to beat 24.

For the first time in a while I feel like I am in a really good place. I'm back 'home', relatively close to a large amount of friends and family, living in a sweet apartment that's all mine o' mine, just accepted an amazing job offer for a killer new position that will be an incredible opportunity and challenge, my life is full of amazing people... all in all, pretty freaking awesome.

25 does freak me out a little. I know it shouldn't. Sometimes I think I should have accomplished more by this age. Although the things that I originally thought I'd have under my belt at 25, marriage, babies, etc... I SO do not want yet. But I think I have also accomplished things that a lot of other 20 somethings can't claim. My carefree optimism (read: naivety) has allowed me to have a lot of random adventures and flights of fancy. I've taken a lot of risks, some worked out, some didn't, but I wouldn't change any of them.

In this 25th year of my life I'm going to be selfish and carefree and fabulous. I'm going to rock my career, spend all my free time with quality people, and fill my closet with sexy shoes. I'm going to quit giving a crap what other people think and just do what makes me smile. I'm going to take more risks and adventures and push myself to my limits. And I'm going to continue to do my best to make the world a brighter place each and every day.

To kick this, the most amazing year of my life thus far, off with a bang, I am going to happy hour tomorrow evening with some of my favorite people on a beautiful and sunny rooftop overlooking the city. Friday is pedicures and preparation, then Saturday is my first 5k and then the birthday bash of the century! A fetish-themed costume party to celebrate losing some of my more ridiculous inhibitions. :)

Thanks in advance to those who are making the time to celebrate this milestone with Amy and me. It's going to be a night, and a year, to remember!

Just returned from a fun night out with my HLP. Uncharacteristically, I actually had food in my apartment. Jacks pizzas that we bought specifically for my party next weekend. We cooked one. Ok, I attempted to cook one. I got impatient and forced Amy to eat an undercooked, gooey pepperoni and mushroom pizza. Sitting in my bed, I dropped the end of my piece, spilling it on my leg. Tried to lick it off... and fell off the bed. Dang it. I'm so uncool.
I just hope my neighbors who think I'm loud and pound on the ceiling when I walk around the house didn't hear me... and/or weren't too upset, cause it was loud... like a major thud. I just want to be friends... is that is that so much to ask?!

bet your bottom dollar

tomorrow is going to be better.

I've decided.

I'm a hazard to myself

Part of my personal mission statement is that I will never let my self worth be determined by anyone other than myself. A stumbling block to this, that I've recently realized, is that you first need to be able to properly value yourself. Easier said than done, I think. No matter how much I pump myself up and try to convince myself that I am worth a certain level of something (depending on the situation), I always end up low-balling. I can even rehearse the exact response in my head 100 times, and when it comes out of my mouth it's different, slightly under par.

Why I am afraid to pursue what I truly think I deserve? If only I could be one of those people who can walk into any situation and confidently say 'This is what I'm after and I won't be satisfied with less'... (Do those people ever miss out on amazing opportunities because they were too stubborn to see them for what they are?)

To be fair I have gotten much better lately, standing my ground when push comes to shove. But at the intersection of dreams and reality, we all know which one usually wins. What kinds of things are ok to settle for, and what should you never compromise on? I am a firm believer that things always work out for the best... eventually. But I guess the kicker is whether or not you have the patience to let things run their natural course. Try to force it, or rush it, and it always blows up in your face.

I'm hoping that in the next week things will become a lot clearer. Until then, I'll do my best to remain patient and steadfast. How do the pessimists of the world survive the unknown?!

Home is where the heart is... and I *heart* mine!

Yippee!!! I moved into my new apartment last week- and it is beyond fabulous! A perfect little one bedroom, totally renovated and designed, seemingly, with yours truly in mind. It's perfect. Harwood floors, crown moulding... my heart on a string... it has it all.
It is finally all starting to slwoly come together. Thanks to incredibly generous donations from those nearest and dearest to me (thanks!) I have a bed, nightstand, couch, stools, and a tv and kitchen table on the way. Whoop whoop!
I love the neighborhood too. Super eclectic- the people watching is phenomenal. I can walk a few blocks to an amazing running trail, I am just steps away from a slew of shops and restaurants, and there is even nightlife nearby. It was so nice to go out last weekend and then walk home. All in all- it's fab. And perfect for me.
I even got my library card today! I'm officially a community member. Well, maybe not officially... but that's always the sign for me.
The job hunt continues... but with lots of good interviews in the last couple weeks and more coming up- I am hopeful that something great is just around the corner.
Well, I'm off to another happy hour! Happy Birthday Connie! :) I love living in a city where I have friends. ;)