the lovers, the dreamers and me

Last night I feel victim to the recurrence of a common phenomenon that leaves me suffering the next morning. No, nothing haraam. I stayed up way too late reading. Ever since I was little and used to hide under the covers with a flashlight to continue reading the Boxcar Children and Little House on the Prairie after my bedtime, I've had a habit of getting sucked into books a little too long, and pay for it the next day. Last night though, the time was extended even further, with a much rarer occurrence.

I'm a definite lover of sappy movies. I learned in a recent read that the reason that a 'good cry' feels so good, is that tears release stress. So I don't feel bad about tearing up at movies, its good for the health! But it is much less often that I happen to read books that make me cry. And I'm not just talking one or two tears as you read the sad lines. I mean a half an hour after you're done and you're still blubbering. As with the sad movies, you know how ridiculous you are for crying about something that a. doesn't affect your life and b. isn't real, but you continue to cry all the same.

I will not discolse which culprit book it was that set me into emotional upheaval, I would like to maintain some sense of dignity, but it was definitely one of those books that you can read over and over and it will still get you, every time. Like Where the Red Fern Grows. Ah, another elementary school favorite.

I think it is much more difficult to truly touch someone's emotions through the written word, and when done well, has a much greater impact. I think most humans (this has absolutely no backing) are more visual. It would be easier to evoke reaction with a picture of a starving child, for instance, than with a well written paragraph about the trials of said child's life. I guess that's where that 'a picture is worth a thousand words' saying comes from. Just when you think you're being original... Dang clichés...

Anyway, this is why I have so much respect for the really great writers out there. There are writers who can make a good page-turners. There are some who can make you laugh. And a few who can really make you think. All wonderful. But being able to provoke an intense emotional reaction, I'd say thats a skill few could boast.

It's quite a powerful position to be in, being able to affect people enmass with your words and thoughts. Do the great writers go to bed each night knowing that they affected someone's life that day? What a great feeling that would be. But I'm sure, that like so many others who have made an impact on the world, they don't appreciate the magnitude. How could you? It's probably a little too much for the mind to grasp.

Do you know when you've reached that point? The point where you have really started to affect people in some way? I'm guessing that you never really appreciate it. But someone does.

That's what I hope for. Not necessarily to be a great writer. But to use my passion to make an impact. By doing what makes me happy, I want to affect people's lives in a positive way. How much better can you get than that?

That's my hope for everyone else too. Find what makes you happy. What makes you respect yourself and feel good about yourself every day. Use it to make a difference in the world around you. And do it now! Because life's just too short to wait for someday.

Finally, something beneficial coming out of L.A.

Kidding...

But the 'Arc' designed by Doug Suisman, seen here, is an intriguing concept. I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about architecture or urban planning, but I do know that giving someone a glimpse of a possible working future can have a dramatic impact on the present. When a conflict drags on and on for so long it is hard to imagine that there is any possibility of the situation ever changing. A picture of what the future could potentially look like is a powerful thing, and so is hope.
Moreover, I think its incredibly comendable to take what you know and apply it to something bigger. See, anyone can make a difference!

So Minnesota has the potential to have the first Muslim elected to the house. Keith Ellison. I checked him out here. Seems pretty good, well except for his globalization and middle east issues. A step in the right direction anyway. Of course, there are a lot of criticisms too. Or for more neutral info, try wiki.
Anyway- the thing that always entertains me about elections is when everyone starts in with the slander- and it often gets really silly. My goodness- he didn't pay his parking tickets? Dear me! And I hope people don't someday use the stupid stuff that I wrote on here during college (or last week) against me. Well, its a good thing I don't plan on running for an office, because there is a lot of ammunition in these archives.
Anyway, its a good change for Minnesota. The 'lutefisk-lovers'- as one article refered to my fellow lutheran farmers- could use a little flavor in the mix.

you're you, I'm me

coexist
Originally uploaded by hollybrekken.

What a fun bumper sticker, huh?
I'm strickly anit car-spam, but this is a great one.
Found at peacemonger.com
I think that might be where I get my dad's Christmas present. Heh heh heh.

Born to fly?

I’ve always fancied myself as the ‘born to fly’ type. Ever since I was aware that there was a wider world out there, I wanted to discover it, conquer it (figuratively speaking of course). So now, a year and a half, give or take, after graduation, I am living half-way around the world in a new environment with an awesome job that has put me on the career path I want, a wonderful boyfriend, a great circle of friends here and afar, and I am closer to most of my family than I was when I was in Minnesota. Yes, I couldn’t really ask for more.

Or could I? Despite my efforts, my family has never really understood my need to ‘fly’. But I usually chalked that up to ‘different strokes’, as I felt the same about staying put. But lately I find myself struggling with this issue that I was always so clear on. Yes, it sounds good in theory to have a jet-set lifestyle. But what about the drawbacks? Mainly the friends and family that you leave behind each time you move. Yes, you can have a wide network of friends all over the world that you can visit occasionally and keep up with each other over e-mail and blogs… but do you have anyone you can call up at 4 am with a problem and they’ll be over in 10 minutes to work it out with you, ice cream in hand?

The world is getting flatter- so of course it is possible to maintain relationships of any kind over distances. But is it the same? In college, I’ll admit, I usually only made it home a handful of times/year. The reality is that I will probably see my family just as often and likely talk with them more. But it sure doesn’t feel that way.

So what to do? I would suffocate in southern Minnesota. I know that, others might want to think otherwise, and make me feel guilty in an effort to change my mind, but deep down I think they know that too. But I’m beginning to think it’s not really about geography. Why do I have to choose between my responsibilities to those I love and pursuing my own dreams? It’s nice and fuzzy for me to tell myself that I don’t have to choose, that I can have it all. But the truth is you do have to choose. It’s not an all or nothing, by any means, but it’s a choice, and with that come consequences.

“Living life without regret”- something I’ve always hoped for. I’m beginning to think that’s easier said than done. All I can do is the best I can. Make the choices that I believe are the best for everyone concerned. Not be afraid to pursue my own happiness. And take caution that its not at the expense of others.

But when it comes to the end, what’s going to be the part that I look back on and smile? I’m guessing it won’t be the cultural experience I’ve had in Dubai. Or even my job, no matter how much I love it.

Wow, this diatribe has not led me anywhere. What’s a girl to do?

My daddy he is grounded like the oak tree. My mama she is steady as the
sun. You know I love my folks but I keep staring down the road, just
looking for my one chance to run.

suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace

A few things to catch up on:

1. Sincere apologies for my extreme AWOL-ness. I think I was able to access the internet once in September for all of 5 minutes. Missed everyone!

2. Ramadan Kareem to all! My second year fasting & first Ramadan in the Arab world has been pretty fabulous so far. We had people over for iftar every night last week- needless to say it has been a lot of fun (and a lot of dish-washing). Very tiring... but its just one of those, live in the moment kind of times of year. I have realized that I am slightly too caffine dependent though...

3. New job= rocks my world. Ha ha ha. It's really great. Can't remember if I clarified... but I'm basically working on the employee participation scheme- and also with innovation... all rolled into one. I'm a big fan so far. Heading to my first conference in Nov--> Chester. Really pumped about that too. (I haven't left the country - Oman doesn't count- since April. I'm long past due). I've been trying to soak a lot up over the last few weeks- a lot to absorb. But now I'm really starting to dig in and get my hands dirty- figuratively speaking... this isn't another sludge factory episode.

4. What else has happened since I saw you last...? Ooo! I had my first swim in the Indian ocean!
Liked that too. The water was just salty enough to float effortlessly (I may or may not have taken a nap) but not so much that it stings your skin... and there were tons of starfish! I took care not to step on any.