The bad girls guide to looking/feeling tough

I know what you are thinking.
How could Holly possibly be giving advice on looking/feeling tough? But its the people who have to work at it who give the best advice. Taking tough tips from a tough person would be like getting diet tips from someone who is inherently scrawny, like Eric.
That said, here goes:

We all know that safety lies in numbers. But in the busy life of a bad girl, sometimes that just isn't practical. When you get off work late, have to walk to your car, then to the gym, then to the library, or stumbling home drunk from the bar (never recommended!!!) you don't always have a buddy. These rules are also applicable when you just don't want to be talked to ;).
The first thing you have to do is put on your bitch-itude face. This might be better described as: I am a woman on a mission and I don't have the time or patience to talk to you. This is your best weapon.
Next, there is a time and a place for distractions. Walking home from the bar for instance, not a good time to talk on the cell phone. I've heard from many a bad girl friend before, "don't worry, I'll call ____ and they will walk me home". Doesn't fly. Be aware of what is going on around you, but fain disinterest. ;)
Now I am sure that all of you have heard of the 'keys between the fingers' trick before. If that is all you have, that is what you work with. But I will give you a little hint on an everyday item that works even better. A wine key. That corkscrew between your first and second finger is something no one wants to mess with. Plus, a bad girl should always have a wine key with them at all times. You never know when there will be cause to celebrate!

One little trick that is sometimes hard for sweet little midwestern girls to learn is that you don't HAVE to be nice to everyone. Some random guy walks up to you at a bar who you are not interested in... you don't have to entertain him. However, one thing that has been amusing is to reply back "you have 30 seconds to impress me". It is often interesting the responses that you get. Its good for entertaining the rest of the group anyway.

I really don't know where this all came from... I was listening to Tragic Kingdom while working out today. Maybe that had something to do with it.

anxiety, me?

So I claim to be impossible to stress out lately... but I think work and graduation is slowly getting to me.
Very often lately I dream that my teeth are falling out... which is incredibly scary when good teeth are so important to you. They never ACTUALLY fall out- but they get really loose all at once and I try to hold them in with my lips. Maybe sometime when they fall out completely I will have a nervous breakdown in my sleep.
Last night for the first time I dreamt that my hair was falling out.
I have been told that both of these are signs of extreme stress or anxiety. I think my subconcious must be more aware of it than I am... but I am definitely starting to feel it.

I didn't even think that I generally slept enough at one time to have REM cycles. But I think that is all a myth. Sometimes I dream when I am half awake. Like the other day about a goldfish being chased by a baracuda. I am getting off subject here...

I wish I lived in Egypt where no one works until after they graduate. I tried to ask my manager to schedule me less. 35 hours/ week is too much when you are trying to finish school. I know that some people do it successfully- but they are probably more efficient at managing their time than I am. Her answer: how about after next weekend? Meaning: I scheduled the crap out of you next week too. Double, doubles and more doubles.

Sorry, I'm whining.

Back to burning the midnight oil.
I hate the library- but it is actually better late at night. Except for the guy next to me who won't stop snorting his phlegm. Seriously...

the red room: where memories are made

This entry was spurred from Katie's cousin talk.

If you have ever been to St. Cloud and 21+ it is likely that someone has brought you to the red carpet. Easily the best room in the place is the red room- the room that plays all classic oldies (think 'build me up buttercup' and 'billie jean')- because I love to sing and dance to that music.
I don't really go out that much anymore- but since Amy came home it has been pretty frequent- everyone has a pusher friend, right?
The other week I ran into a friend that I met when I was 13 at bible camp.
And saturday night-
I was dancing with Amy- and this random dude starts to swing dance with me. Mind you- there is NO room to swing dance. We were quite the spectacle- he kept throwing me into people and all kinds of crazy stuff- people were moving out of the way to watch us, most likely though because they didn't want to get hit. It isn't like when Izaz and I dance together- there people watch because we are GOOD. ; )
Anyway- the song finished and I look over at the other guy who had walked up with my dance partner who is giving me this evil disapproving glare. It is MY COUSIN! He was in town for a rugby tournament and didn't bother to tell me...
so we hang out for a while, then meet after the bar closed because he was going to crash at my house that night.
I end up losing him again- I thought for good because his cell phone was dead.
A few hours later, while still out, I get a phone call from a friend of mine, and former aiesecer, erin. Apparently my cousin used to date her roommate when they went to school together at UMD so they are staying at thier apartment for the weekend. Josh had been telling the story and used my full name to which Erin replies "Holly Brekken? I know her!" And calls me up.
Funny.
Come to think about it- I have gotten quite a few calls from cousins of mine that have somehow started talking to friends of mine and my name came up. I can think of at least 4 off the top of my head.
Ha ha. Minnesconsin baby- there is no place like it.

margarita afternoon

margarita afternoon
Originally uploaded by hollybrekken.

Monday was beautiful- so Connie and I skipped our night classes and made Kait come with us to the Green Mill for happy hour. What could be better? Good friends, sun, skipping class and an italian margarita or two. Fabulous.
Sorry for the weird face... she caught me off guard. ;)

Spread your wings and prepare to fly

OK all you interested skydivers- you know who you are.
After some preliminary research I have found the best prices so far are around $175 for a tandem jump or $275 for the course and first jump.
We can get discounts with bigger groups.
I shall continue to look.
Holla at me if you want to take this symobic leap with the Rowdy graduates of 2005.

ground control to major tom

I have like 2 weeks of college left. ever.
How strange.
If I was still the spaz that I used to be, I might be having issues now. But luckily I am not.

OOO, that reminds me- I have to look into sky-diving facilities for Trent and Arnaub and I. This shall be fun.

Mwah ha ha ha ha. Don't worry boys, it will be great.

Its clear from your vacant expression the lights are not all on upstairs.

So- it was pointed out to me last night that I am stupid.
I was using "Louie-ville" for St. Louis. Apparently that is wrong. I should have said St. Louie. But I don't like that as much. Hence- on this blog, louie-ville will always mean St. Louis.

Happy, Eric?

Stop playing girl and come on home...

Home from my weekend excursion in Louie-ville. More wonderful every time.
Recieved a few calls from LTM. It is nice to know that your friends are thinking of you when you are not there. I've always wanted to leave a legacy, everywhere. Kait pointed this out to me the other day. Really? I guess when I think about it she is right. I have always been concerned with that. I mean- anyone that knows me knows that I am not a 'blend into the scenery" kind of girl, and no one wants to be the person that people talk about years down the road saying "Remember so-and-so?" "No" "Yeah, remember? He was the one who always smelled like cabbage."
Like I said on Jen's blog, there are worse things I could be remembered for.
When I see people come and go places it makes me nervous how replacable everyone is. Really. When you start to see it happening to yourself it is quite scary- when you realize that you have been successfully replaced- no longer an essential part of the clockwork. Strange- part good, part bad, mostly weird.
But one door closing is another door opening.
It is a good thing really. Change is a wonderful thing. *repeat*

Change- yes. Change is good. Sometimes I wish I could change more. Like the past. Although I never want to live with regret- and usually don't- for long- sometimes it would be nice to be able to delete a couple things. When your past comes back to bite you- a7a!- it hurts!

The beauty of being a nomad is having the ability to change your life on a whim, whenever you want. But you can't change who you are- or erase your past.
This never raised an issue with me before. I loved being flightly, random, and not having to explain myself to anyone but myself. But was that ever who I was?

This weekend I bought the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's". I had never seen it- but decided that I needed to as many people have compared me before to the most famous of Audrey Hepburn's characters.
It is an entertaining film, and yes, I can identify with her charcter in some ways. Parts of her is someone that I have always wanted to be- parts of her is someone that people percieve me as but I am nowhere near.

Sometimes I get mad when I realize that no one I know really knows me. But it really isn't their fault. I don't even know me. Does anyone really know themself? Or their friends/loved ones?

Well, whatever the answer is. I am sure of one thing. It will sure be fun figuring it out.
Afterall- you can't leave a legacy if you don't know who you are. And the legacy you intend is never really the one you leave. So I think I will quit trying. If people happen to remember me along my/their journey- mabrouk!


... baby girl I didn't mean to shout- want you and me to work it out.

Things I learned today

- No matter how early I get up for my 9:30 class (read: even if there is no sleep whatsoever)- my hair will always be wet.

- If someone tells you that you are glowing- its ok to not mention that it might be from the sunburn that you recieved the day before.

- I will never, ever, EVER, catch the bus to school without some sort of running or related drama.

- I will never, ever, EVER! learn to like or appreciate economics.

- Accomplishment, no matter how overdue, feels wonderful.

Wow- and its only 9:00 am. Today will be a good day.

Mental Note

I decided long ago that I would only allow myself to live in the moment- relatively speaking- and take life as it comes- free from stress and worries. It actually IS possible- and wonderful.
I know that I will never regret skipping a class to go and help my friend choose her wedding dress (I was called in on official bridesmaid's duty, I couldn't say no), and I won't think twice about taking off work for the weekend to visit a friend out of town, even if it will make it slightly more difficult to pay the bills later...
30 years down the road I will never remember that one class, or one weekend of working- thats not the stuff that life is made of.
I love it when you realize in the middle of doing something that this is a moment that you will remember forever- then you try extra hard to soak in all the details- so your memories can be vivid.
It takes discipline to learn to enjoy and appreciate every moment for what it is. But once you get there... ooo, life is sweet.

Topping the list today

of things that I love:

Frequent Flier Miles- and redeeming them

Just bought a ticket to my current favorite frequent travel destination, St. Louis, for $5.

Fabulous

I am a firm believer of always needing something to look forward to. They brighten the dull days (even though we have been having exceptional weather here lately).

I have the biggest smile on my face right now. Careful, it might blind you through cyberspace.

Do people use that word anymore- or was that just a 90s thing?