Let's go somewhere they might discover us

I wonder at what point, if ever, we ever feel like we know what we are doing in life? Is it always going to be a series of educated (sometimes blind) guesses at what is really the best way forward? Or is there some magical point in the impending future where I will say, 'Yep, now I've really got it figured out'?

With an ever so slight side-step in topic, I am simply in love with my new job. I've been here a little over a month so far, and while I'm obviously still in the honeymoon stage I think this is somewhere I could see myself for a long haul. I have complete autonomy in the project that I am working on and a lot of room to flex my creative muscles and make it my own, which I love.

However, I wonder if anyone realizes that I have absoutely no idea what I'm doing?

You'd think after the 12 million interviews (ok, 5) I had for this position that they'd have a decent grasp of my capabilities, so why do I still feel like I'm in over my head every once in a while? It's a fleeting feeling mostly... coming in waves at times like reviewing my job spec and offer letter initially, then setting my performance goals and project timeline, and now starting the program development and getting pulled into other projects before I even have a grasp on this one. I will say that so far I have managed to swim (not sink)- and feel my way along with great results. One month (to the day) from my start date I presented my inital assessment findings to a room full of key stakeholders- and I think it went well, despite the crickets that I heard chirping when I asked for feedback. But in this arena sometimes no news is good news, and you can bet I would have heard a lot if they thought I was heading in the wrong direction.

Off to LA tomorrow for the last journey of the assessment phase. Lance is coming out on Thursday and I'm excited for a fabulous adventure. Then Friday we'll meet up with Dawn to see her place, and celebrate her birthday and partake in general merriment... and hopefully get a tan. ;) As much as I've been enjoying my summer to the fullest, my paleness (or rather jaundice for those of us of yellow hue) is shameful.

Other than that, only other plans for the next couple weeks are reconnecting with some friends and family that life has been too crazy for lately, figuring out a possible mother/daughter European adventure for sometime this fall and starting my Kilimanjaro training plan in earnest- that'll give me a good 6 months of training- and I need it!