shaking my confidence, driving me crazy

In the last few years my general trust in people has been totally shaken, partly for practical reasons (Minnesota Nice doesn't work everywhere), partly for 'people are crappy' reasons. Turns out I'm not a very good judge of character...

But against my better judgement, I can't help but truly believe that the vast majority of people are intrinsically good. So it's only fair for me to give everyone a chance to prove themselves. And if this means I get followed around all night by scary Mafia men, well then I guess, so be it. I just enjoy being nice to people. I enjoy taking them by surprise with pleasantness. Not that I'm a stepford wife or anything, but I think most people have become so crabby in their everyday life that seeing seemingly random and uninspired cheerfulness is truly shocking. It's unfortunate when that is sometimes misinterpretted, and I have learned some lessons the hard way. But at the end of the day I'd still rather be nice to everyone and have it occasionally backfire than have to wear my bitchitude face constantly. That's no way to go through life.

Most people are inherently good, and therefore deserve to be treated with politeness and respect. Why can't more people get this? It's not a difficult concept... People that go out of their way to hurt others... I will just never understand. Perhaps in the same way I will never understand violent video games. Why is that fun? But that's another story.

I guess the point is, that no matter how many people knock me down, I still vow to get up with style and grace, flash a stranger a smile, compliment my neighbor's shoes and overtip my server.

I still believe people of gentleness and faith can change the world one unseen, unsung, unrewarded kindness at a time and nothing in this world can make me stop.