Now she's 24 and ready to begin

I've always been more considerate of the year gone by when my birthday rolls around rather than New Years. Perhaps because it seems more personal.

Anyway, I'm 24 today and frankly, I don't quite know what to think. The usual feelings about how I'm in a totally different place than I thought I'd be in at this age, or how old I'm getting, etc are totally absent. In its place I have a rather odd feeling of complacency. And I'm not really sure what this means.

Maybe it's because I am comfortable with where I am in life. Or maybe I'm so lackadaisical that I stopped caring? Or perhaps I'm at such a total loss of what to think about the future, my mind is empty. Not sure.

I do know that my 24th year on earth will be dedicated to figuring me out- something that I have not spent enough time focusing on.

I have spent a good deal of time focusing on other 'me' things. I have goals and plans, I think I have a good grasp of what's important to me, I even have a personal mission statement. But that's not what I'm talking about. Figuring 'me' out means dissecting the things that don't keep me up at night. Those things that aren't everyday tangible decisions- practical choices for the future. The things that are just easier to sweep under the rug but, in the end of the day, affect every aspect of your life.

24 will be the year I figure out what I'm so afraid of- and I don't mean birds.
No more playing it safe and taking the easy way out.

I'm excited for 24. In a totally different way than I've ever felt on a birthday, but excited nonetheless. This could be the start of something interesting.

*****

Now she's 24 and ready to begin
To let her past be past and start to live
She knew there must be more, a purpose to this life
Emotions not created just to die