If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life...

Lately I have been in a Debbie Downer state of mind about my country- why people are being so dumb, what it really means to be American, the way the US is percieved internationally (especially in the arab world), how people think of me when I tell them I am American... etc.

This last part was never a huge concern of mine until, well, Saturday.
The government stuff- I don't like it either- you want a debate or discussion, I'm down.
And I have of course encountered the many people who think all Americans are a. rich and b. have no moral values c. basically any other negative stereotype you'd like to tack on here. Never really bothered me so much. If someone cared to listen, of course I would tell them how we are not actually all like the cast of 90210.

Saturday though- I had a new 'all-american experience'. I was standing with my friend, making casual small talk with this older veterinarian man, waiting for Shady. He asks me where I am from- I tell him. He makes one of those disgusted pshsh noises and turns his back and starts to walk away. I, not expecting someone to be that rude and actually mean it, laughed, thinking he was joking, and asked what that meant. Apparently this laid out the welcome mat for him to attack me about my gov't its foreign policy... which in itself is fine- but the way that he did it- the aggressiveness towards ME, not the government, that was what shocked me. I think I sputtered a couple things back about not all American people having the same opinions and values as the government, that I didn't like most of the stuff they are doing either. He said that of course he recognized the difference between the government and the people. Well, obviously that mental line was a little foggier than he said with the way he was talking to me. Seriously, you would have thought that I personally built a bomb and fired it straight at his mother. I was dumbfounded.
After a two minute verbal lashing (I think I might still have some of his spit imbedded in my contact lens) I ended up just turning around and walking away. Not a very good diplomat, I know. But there was no point in even trying with how worked up he was and how blantantly rude.

It wasn't even until later when I told Shady about it, that he told me the guy was Palestinian.

I really don't know what made this man think it was ok to talk to me like that. So you don't like my country- well sometimes neither do I! But really. Luckily, this is far from the norm. But one little incident like this, if you let it, can change your whole opinion about something.

Normally I do try a little harder to be a good diplomat. I would never lie about where I was from to get people to like me. I hate it when people do that. I knew this guy who was all proud of himself that when he was backpacking he wore a Canadian maple leaf on his bag so people would be nicer to him. Yes- thats the way to make a positive difference.

Anyway- so lately I've been at a loss.
I do love my country in many ways. I love the people, I love the culture (in some ways), I love the diversity (some places), I love Target...
But the government- really needs a kick in the ***. Currently, at least with the stuff going on in the Middle East- they are in a tough spot- whatever they choose they lose face. But they made their own bed. And still, my countrymen (the politicians and idiots who are controlling them) somehow always choose the worst of two bad choices.

So what is a girl to do?
While I can sit and critique and insult my country (in certain ways) left, right and center, when someone else does it, in a way that is so aggressive like this- I get a little defensive.

I can't change my nationality- well I could, but you know what I mean- and while apparently we are a 'democratic' nation... can I force them to pull their heads out of you-know-where and their noses out of everywhere we don't belong?

So, for the time being... I'm a little lost and confused. I hate that.